Twaitor: A True Story With 140 Characters

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Android: A human-like machine.

Factoid: People are becoming symbiotic in their relationship with their computers.

Fact: Everyone is officially on Twitter. Plus if you’re really famous you’re probably on there at least twice, once with “fake” in front of your name.

Of course most people are fake enough on Twitter anyway. Not me, but other people who hack my account.

I made fun of Twitter publically in a Rabbit Room post a few weeks prior to joining up myself. Can you say “hypocrisy” with less than 140 characters?

Ron Block promptly called me a “Twaitor.” That is one of the most brilliant rejoinders I have ever been on the receiving end of. He should have tweeted it on Twitter so someone could actually read it. I guess he can still share it in one of his thirty-or-so Facebook Status Updates a day –which is veeerrryyy different than a Twitter tweet.

But in my (actual) view Twitter isn’t nearly as important as many of its apologists/cheerleaders say.

Also, it’s not as egocentric and banal as its detractors say (or it doesn’t have to be).

OK, now that I’ve done the most irritating thing in the world and set up two poles and put myself between them and called that “balance,” and “quite moderate,” I will now show you one reason why I love Twitter.

If you hung out with really smart, wise, godly, creative, or just generally uncommon people, you would hear them say things in reaction to some bit of news (or whatever) and you would laugh, or ponder, or be very puzzled. But wouldn’t it be swell to hear some morsel of what your favorite artist is thinking right now, or your favorite author, or chef, or pastor, or whatever? Well, that is (can be) what Twitter is. I cite Al Mohler from 11.16.09. Mohler tweeted thus:

albertmohler: Kanye West: “I am a proud non-reader of books. I … get information from doing stuff like actually talking to people and living real life.”

Then he tweeted this follow-up…

albertmohler: Please note that proud non-reader Kanye West is the author of a new book, “Thank You & You’re Welcome.” I am a proud non-reader of his book.

Bam.

Aside: It’s so very shocking to learn that Kanye West doesn’t read.

Let me make it clear that I agree with the vast number of sentient beings who recognize that sitting around on Twitter or Facebook for hours is almost certainly a HUGE waste of time. But the doing of many things to excess is often an avenue to wasting life. I gotta hurry this up, there’s a football game on…

Most of what is on Twitter and Facebook is not worth seeing. Lots. Of. Narcissism. And you can spend half your day just getting through the exclamation points on any tweets/status updates by teenagers you know!!!!!!!!! And like don’t even get me started on this jk/lol business. AND ALL CAPS!!! Blech.

narcissismtwitter

The truth is there are few who seem skilled at using the tool well, and I certainly don’t count myself among them (that would be a lot of work). But there’s some out there. Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter? Why? Comment away.

Oh yeah, follow me on Twitter and be my friend on Facebook. If you wish. Or don’t, snob. And here’s an easy way to follow some Rabbit Roomers on Twitter from @thomasmckenzie (he did it in one actual minute -seriously). Rabbit Roomers on Twitter.

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sdsmith_: Just wrote a post, now eating a cookie. Here’s a picture of me. It’s the one I use on Twitter! lol, jk, lol!!!!! Cookie now finished.


11 Comments

  1. Profile photo of Ron Block

    Ron Block

    @ronblock

    I love the graph. I am not on Twitter. I am wearing socks right now with no shoes. I am a proud non-reader of certain books. I do not post thirty status quotes a day, only ten or eleven. I AM NOT A MORAN!!!! LOL!!!!

  2. Profile photo of Pete Peterson

    Pete Peterson

    @pete

    I actually quite enjoy Twitter, mainly because it’s good discipline. It’s surprisingly difficult sometimes to say what you want to say in the manner you wish to say it in 140 characters and as a writer it’s a fun exercise to examine your comment and find ways pare it down without resorting to lolsp33k.

  3. Peter B

    Your Venn diagram is made of win.

    Also, I’m a career techie who hasn’t gotten on Twitter. Do I need help?

  4. Kelly

    One of my favorite Al Mohler tweets was when he was passing by the Fruit of the Loom factory and he said he had “no time to stop for a briefing.” I laughed at that for the better part of the day.

  5. S.D. Smith

    Ron -Just think of all the people who don’t know what’s up with your feet because you’re not on Twitter.

    Russ- Since I used your sign, I thought I should wear your shirt as well.

    Go USA.

  6. Paula

    This post made me laugh out loud, which is hard to do after 10pm. Now I only wish your website had one of those “Tweet This” buttons so I could share it with all my tweeting friends.

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