learning how to let people love you. [an abuse survivor who needs help]

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  • Greta M. vonderLuft

    basically all in the title. i’ve been a rabbit since i was twelve (5 years) and y’all our part of my fam. so, yup.

    John Barber

    Geez, @urfrgndlyngborhoodho – that sounds terrible. You’re in the right place! Us rabbits take care of each other.

    Josh Duncan

    @urfrgndlyngborhoodho I think finding a community (like this one) is a good early step. You can build relationships around shared interests here. Be honest with the people you are getting to know. Not that you need to tell them everything about yourself; just tell them when you feel like drawing back.

    I hope you also have a good counselor. I’m not going to make you announce what you are doing to seek help right now. It’s probably going to be an uncomfortable process so don’t be afraid to take it slowly.

    Pray, of course.

    We’re glad you’re here.


    My heart goes out to you. My experience is that, as Josh said, this is a great first step. Getting comfortable in a group setting gets you started, but the next step will be twofold. First, you need to find a few good friends that you can trust. Likely that will be hard, but it’s vital. Secondly find a mentor or pastor you can let guide you. This is much harder, but spiritual direction from an older brother or sister in the faith will do much good.

    If you are Catholic, or in another denomination that celebrates the sacrament of Confession, then I’d suggest confessing at least once a month. Since Confession is a sacrament of healing, and helps to heal spiritual wounds, it would not be out of place to mention your trials to the confessor and ask Christ, through the person of the priest, for healing in this regard. Additionally, you may look up a group called Grief to Grace, which is a four-day retreat for people recovering from abuse or some other spiritual trauma.

    Some prayers that may help would be the Anima Christi, especially meditating on the line ‘Within your Wounds, hide me.’ Look on the Crucifix and meditate on the suffering of Our Lord, and unite your suffering to His.

    Lastly, assuming again that you are willing, I’d consider going to a Catholic or Orthodox church and spending regular time in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. What I mean by that is that those two churches tend to reserve the consecrated Host, which has become Christ Himself, in a tabernacle. Since Christ is physically and truly present in those churches, you may go and sit at His feet as Mary, sister of Martha, did. There there is no need for fancy prayers if they do not help, but simply look at Him with love, and let Him look at you with love.

    You are in my prayers, and please pray for me as well.



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