The Rabbit Room

This song is about the spiritual and mental malaise that seems to follow me everywhere some years. There are sometimes people, places, and things attached—and sometimes it’s just an enveloping haze. The time I spend in this feeling is usually accompanied by a pretty critical mirror, showing me all that’s not working about who I am—guilt, shame, mistakes that follow me, loudly mocking me and kicking my heels. The usual suspects.

But like the black cloud that led the Israelites out of Egypt by day, and as a pillar of fire in the night, I want to ask whether this might be a natural part of being led through the valley of the shadow of death. Because that’s where we all live.

“Black Cloud”
from Andrew Osenga’s Flesh EP

hiding like a two-year-old and acting like I’m in control
I’m waiting for cops to throw the warrant down
and tell me that they’ve found me out
I’m breaking a thousand little laws
a thousand little flaws have found their way inside
show me who I am
deep beneath the skin
still a spark divine
still a spark divine?

there’s a black cloud over me, over me
and I’m too proud to get on my knees, on my knees
a dumb kid fighting to fight
and I’m tired all the time
under this black cloud

failing like a pharaoh just to glimpse the straight and narrow
when it’s so clear
buzzy, sick mosquito thinks he’s soaring like an eagle
when the hand’s near

a thousand lessons learned
a thousand tries to earn what’s already mine
remind me who I am
shining through my skin
still a spark divine?
still the spark divine

black cloud, when the day fades will you burn in flame?
black cloud, when the night aches will you light my way?

black cloud
over me, over me
when the day fades will you burn in flame?
black cloud
I’m on my knees, on my knees
when the night aches will you light my way?
light my way