Alcoholics Anonymous teaches us that you can never rest in your freedom but you need to actively continue to pursue it. That’s why they’re “recovering alcoholics” and not “recovered.”
I call myself a recovering cynic.
It’s a tendency I have and it’s a place I willingly gave myself to for years. Wasted years. Life is better than that. Nobody ever hung out with a cynical person and left thinking “Well, that was really nice!” It’s just a drain on everybody.
How was I able to move past it? I saw people loving when it wasn’t easy. I saw them have joy when they were hurting. I saw them failing each other, forgiving and being forgiven, and moving forward together. When you really see that you have to decide if you want in, or if you want to call it stupid and walk away.
I want in.
And I want to keep wanting in.
I’ve been a, I’ve been a, I’ve been a cynic it was a, it was a waste of time thought I had, thought I caught some kind of vision I was a, I was a foolish child
but I cared and that’s something I still do that ain’t nothing
come on, come on, come on!
I had my, had my, had my opinions I’ve had them, I’ve had them bite me back woke up in, woke up in, woke up in prison love broke me, love broke me out at last
cause you cared and that’s something you still do that ain’t nothing
come on, come on, come on!
oh, I believe it oh, I have seen it oh, I have seen real love
looked nothing like I had thought looked nothing like I had thought cause it hurt nothing like I had thought it took time
only holy soul in the back row, baby watch me slowly loosen my grip dare I claim the death of a darkness, darling? can’t you see it starting to slip?